Concentrating on Your own Positive

Since changing my goals and concentrating on gaining muscle, I have been in a Carb Cycling macrocycle (meaning more than one day per week consuming higher carbs and lifting weights). I find myself wanting to get my scale weight down. But I can’t build muscle and worry about the scale at the same time. Building muscle can push weight up, since muscle actually weighs more than the same volume of fat. I have to keep reminding myself that I have an end goal to reach. I want to raise my lean body mass and then lower my fat content down to reach a specific BMI.

One reason for doing this is my testosterone. When I was at my heaviest, my weight and sleep apnea all worked together to create a perfect storm against my endocrine system. My body was making so little testosterone that it was practically useless. On top of that, the testosterone I was making was of no use. Fat cells around the abdomen actually convert testosterone to estrogen. My sleep apnea reduced the production of testosterone, and then my excess fat took what was produced and converted it to a hormone that would do even more harm to my system.

Losing weight has helped my sleep apnea. I am no longer using my C-PAP. My testosterone levels are great, but not perfect so the doctor has started reducing my weekly dosage—which is nice because it is a painful, self-administered shot and the lower the dose, the less pain.

I decided to concentrate on weights and muscle gain in order to increase my natural testosterone production. The problem is that I spent so many months thinking about the scale and looking for lower numbers, it is hard to see the scale make no changes in over a month.

I have to remind myself of my current goal—get off the T-shot, and increase lean mass. This means looking at the tape and skin pinch more than scale numbers. I have increased my chest by around 3 inches. My calves have increased from 18 inches to 20 inches. My thighs have trimmed to 27 inches at the widest and tightened considerably. My waist has stayed almost the same. My shoulders are expanding and widening. All of this in about a month and a half. Funny thing is that my shirts had gotten down to XL size, but these are now too tight in the chest and I need to move back up to XXL. Of course this is much better than the 5X I used to wear. My chest was 56 inches back then. It went down to 44 inches (I list 12 inches of fat around my chest)—the smallest I remember it being since high school. It is now up to 47 inches.

I have to keep in mind the goals that matter are mine. Others would look at my scale number and say, “You have to get that down.” They don’t know anything about my actual lean mass (which is heavier than what the traditional BMI chart says should be my healthy weight). They don’t know about the need to gain muscle to increase T production. Worrying about what someone else thinks you need is useless. Set your own goals and work towards them. If others can’t support the goals you set for yourself, don’t talk to them about this area of your life. Even after all this time on program, I still have friends whom I know not to speak to about my weight or health. I know their contributions are useless, so I protect the friendship by ignoring the stupid advice and silly statements. I try to concentrate on my own goals and remind myself constantly of what I am working towards. Since my weight is unchanged but my muscle mass has increased, this means I am “exchanging” fat for muscle—a positive. Concentrating on the positive is always helpful.

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